Guide To Bizarre Behavior

by Guide To BIzarre Behavior

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Hand screen-printed covers, with art by Aaron Vinton. Contains fold out lyric book, and sticker. Hand numbered. 50 copies were sent to 50 different record stores for record store day. There are 7 cover variations, collect em all!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Guide To Bizarre Behavior via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 70 

      $5 USD or more 


  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    This is CD version of the limited edition RSD cassette.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Guide To Bizarre Behavior via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      $5 USD or more 


  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

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Written and recorded in Yucca Valley, California and New Orleans, Louisiana.

70 hand printed copies released on cassette for Record Store day. 50 copies were sent to 50 different record stores in 50 different states.

And here's a video!:


released April 18, 2015

Lyrics by Brian Bromberg.

Music by Brian Bromberg, Suzy Creamcheese, and Ray Bong.

Cover Art by Aaron Vinton




ShanGORIL La Records Singapore

GTBB 4 is a superb creation, twisted and surreal, that demands your attention. It pushes past the bounds of genre, occupying its own kaleidoscopic realm. In this fourth volume, you are sure to be spellbound by subjects such as doping in sport, eco-terrorism, currency, pollen production habits in bees, and narcissism in Joshua Tree, CA. Listening to this record will nourish your soul. Go for it! ... more

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Track Name: Beige Castle
Welcome to the beige castle
Keep your hands and arms inside the buggy
If you’re good we’ll give you a treat
(Red or blue oat bicky?)
There’s a terrible parasite
Eating all the grapes
That’s why we called the scientists
They’ll be here Tuesday
Leonardo lives in the room
with plastic bed sheets and plastic love.
That room is Hartly Von Tartly’s,
She eats yarn and shits knittings
Which brings us to Rudolph’s pen
notorious glue sniffer, nodded off
while chopping wood (please mind
the step girl, Tartly always falls there)

This here’ll be your room
Right next door to the porn room.
So they ate beans and nugat,
inside the beige castle

Since they didn’t know what to do,
with there money they bought
lots and lots of sunglasses

There cash cow was in breeding piebald dogs
named Piebald.

And so they lived in there castle of beige
With there pet narwhal in a tank of mud
His name was Poncho, penchant for molten lead.

Communal vasaline bucket,
You get your own snorkel
Living in a beige castle.
Track Name: Gonzo
Do you ever feel saucy when your bossy calls,
To tell you that they’re closed today?
Do you ever want to drink a packet of gelatin
and a gallon of coffee?

Are you happy you can relax this morning?
From 9 to 3.

If you roll the dice you may pay the price
of flank steak stroganoff,
If you’re feeling plucky you might get lucky
and roll a 5 on the die

Then you’ll make a mess,
but don’t get so distressed,
soon it will be ragout time

The kitchen’s gonna stay dormant today
No flipping of tortillas, no making chicken tikka.
Craft beers and Al Capones make up Gonzo’s diet
I don’t recommend eating here, I wouldn’t even try it.

I hope all the folks planning on there lunch break
don’t die from malnurishment
Go eat at Kasa for goodness sake!

It’s hard to say if this smog is gonna break
I keep rootin’ for the blue skies to take
The cat needs the birds, the turtle needs the sun
You can’t trust the weather man, you can’t have too much fun.

Take a hike into the hills
bake another loaf of bread if you will.
Track Name: Bill
Hey Bill, what’d you do?
I seen’d your face with a grey beard now
on the front page and in the tabloids
You’ve put on weight Bill.

Everyone I ask says “Oh yea, It’s been in the news.”
Which I know, but what has been in the news?
I don’t have a TV, I only read the local
Big news this week:
It’s rained!

My mother said you paid some women not to talk…
but they talked. She said whatcha did was real real bad,
but she won’t tell me more.

You can tell me Bill.

Bill do you need a life coach? It sounds like the public hates you,
‘cause they rusted you to teach there kids good things,
and your morals may not hold up anymore.

Bill will you lose the house bill?
I don’t know what you did Bill, so you’re innocent to me.
You can stay with us Bill

(after some information has come to light,
the wife doesn’t want you staying with us anymore)

No one will tell me, I asked at the deli. No one Bill!

Hey Bill, no one is laughing, no one thinks it’s funny
Track Name: Bruxism
Kickin’ it with the pope’s nose
for those who know how long
Luxurious transformations
Scatterbrained impulse

Karen it’s not your day yet.

The pope knows its clotted cream
Delicious disasters
The pope says “Bruxism, bruxism!”
Track Name: Corporate Whore
I think the refrigerator turned on again Hollywood called and left a message, but I deleted it
Before you told me not to

Can you grab my smokes from the parlor babe?
The postman’s coming for dinner tonite. I do hope you’ll wash your hair (but not on my account)
I drank all the chardonnay on the way to the bank, again.

Can you tell me your name? Tell me your name.
Are you a Libra? I’m a moonchild.
Can I bum a lite? I gotta light this black and mild

I can tell from your eyes that your spirit animal’s the fox
Stay away from these knives, you’ll cut your finger off
“Take these back Garcon, this water’s gone flat”
“Can’t you see? It’s not bubbly.”

“What’s with that stain on your face my dear?”
Reflections of reflections in the mirror never remember a godamn thing I hear. No, it’s not open for discussion, what you get is what your stuck with. “I thought I ordered this steak rare…” (medium rare) “I thought the mistletoe was oregano, so it’s in the sauce,”
Perky implants, tennis pro
Drinking only fine Bordeaux
When you show up, you better have shaven. You corporate whore
You’ll never be forgiven.
Track Name: Astroturf
Do you know what I’ve been doing? Do you know where I have been? Do you know what I’ve been thinking? Do you know the who, what, where, why, and when?


I’ve been digging in the Astroturf, the great leader told me to. Only playing my old song, never straying to something new.
Have you been dreaming of the fluffiness’s, devouring books like sandwiches? Your brain has crumbled to crystalline jumble aphrodisiac oyster mumble.

Critical masses keep astronaut ass’s in the seats of the classes huffing the gasses.

Silly striped lemurs, trying to deceive us with their glittering goo balls. Bouncing bologna with, lactating limpets, elastic biscuits and truculent Triscuits cataclysmic cosmic collisions, and gigantic planters nuts a ‘plenty.

Dynamite toothbrush and Russian romances.